life lately...

once again,

my poor blog has been neglected.

i promise i have good reasons.

i'm very pregnant with our little boy

and have been remodeling the house

to make room for him.

it's crazy to me that we will soon have another baby.

i can hardly believe that there will be

another kiddo to love.

i'm super excited to meet this little guy.

but i have definitely been feeling

sad that my time with just me and my girl

is coming to an end.

we have been doing so much remodeling

and we are finally finished.

i'm so glad we are done with all the work

so that we can enjoy the holidays with our girl.

our schedule is so full until christmas

and i am looking forward to making some 

final memories as our family of three.

there are so many feelings and emotions

that come along when you are about to have a baby.

it's crazy.

i'm not really worried about loving another kiddo.

i love scarlett so much it's crippling and 

i already feel super connected and in love with this baby.

i know the minute he comes out,

the love will flood right on in even more.

i know it will be hectic at first and chaotic

and a little bit overwhelming.

but i also trust that god will see us through

and we will eventually find our new normal and adjust.

i find myself more worried about scarlett.

just wanting to make sure she still feels loved.

that she still feels like she is getting enough attention

and having all of her little needs met.

i hope she's not sad or resentful once the baby gets here.

i know if she is, she will get used to it and adjust just like

the rest of us.

she is my baby girl though and all she's known

is me and her day in and day out.

just the two of us.

that is about to drastically change.

i just wanna make sure i still soak her in.

all of her little pieces of her personality.

all those things that have consumed me these past

two years.

i just don't want to completely miss all that

in the midst of the newborn haze.

the other thing on my mind is shane and i.

i just want us to stay as connected as we can.

your marriage tends to get put on the back burner

when a baby arrives.

it's hard for it to remain at the top of the list

while you are keeping humans alive,

recovering from major surgery,

and just getting through the day tending to

everyone's needs but your own.

you have to kind of re-set and figure out how

to meet each other's needs in this new season of life.

you have to learn how to make time for the relationship.

you have to figure out how to fit it all in.

i just love this guy more than i ever have.

i want to keep this thing strong.

for us and for our kids, especially.

scarlett just decided to start sleeping through the night.

it has been glorious.

the only upside to the fact that i haven't gotten much

sleep in two years is that i feel a little more

ready for nighttime feedings and scattered sleep.

none of the things like that really scare me.

they suck but they last for such a short season.

i have started washing tiny baby clothes

and burp cloths and bibs

and i feel such sadness that those days with

scarlett feel like they were over in a flash.

it's getting close to the time where we pull

all of the baby gear out of the attic

and the house once again looks like

babies r us

vomitted itself up everywhere.

so many contraptions for such 

a tiny person.

in the meantime,

i am making sure we get all of the holiday

traditions in and just enjoy each other.

we did the pumpkin patch last week

and we are looking forward to seeing

scarlett enjoy all the christmas

stuff this year.

ya'll know i'm prepping for our christmas card pics.

we have friends coming in to town to visit this weekend.

and we have plans for the polar express,

teddy bear tea,

and lots of upcoming christmas parties.

this time of year is magic ya'll.

and even more magic with this little guy on his way.

just making sure i'm soaking up our everyday

right now because it is about to change in a huge way.

i couldn't be more excited.

ash...