too much for my heart...

warning: if overly mushy posts

bother you, turn back now.

don't say you weren't warned.

there are days in life when it's too much

for your heart.

when a day is filled with so much joy,

and love, and happy that your heart

could burst into a million pieces.

today was one of those days.

the girls slept over last night.

we hung out around the house today

and then went to my classroom

and took care of a few things on my list.

and let me throw this milestone in here.

i know years from now,

when i'm reading my posts,

i will still remember this moment

but not quite when it happened.

so, to document it is fitting.

hayden, for the first time

in his whole life,

turned down a trip to my house.

hayden is 10 and ever since he was

a tiny baby he stole my heart.

he's getting older and busier

and cooler.

last night when packing the girls for a sleepover,

he said he was just gonna stay home.

i literally could have cried a few tears.

he just wanted to stay home

and sleep in and not do girly things

with us all night/day, but, it was a first.

where does the stinkin time go

and when do i get my refund?

anyway, if hayden would have been there,

the day would have been even better.

something is always missing when he's not there.

it was just one of those days

where it's just fun and silly and carefree.

one of those days when our house

is so much more a home.

a day when you just smile,

because you know this is the simple

in the everyday that it's all about.

there were barbies,

random hangouts in our closet,

looks that made my heart stop,

moments with fuzzy scarves,

donut holes.

there was

lots of shane hogging,

times when i looked at lu and

she looked 16,

silliness,

so many kisses,

so many tight hugs,

so many, "nannie, i love you"s.

my parents always tell me

if i think i love the kiddos,

wait till i have my own.

i don't know how it will be possible

to love anyone more.

i love them so much,

too much, for my heart.

ash...